I created Living ROI as a passion, to share my experiences and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives.
Dear Friends,
It’s Easter Sunday and Passover so I thought I’d write about hope, blessings and gratitude, but it’s hard to muster those sentiments.
There is so much conflict and uncertainty about what should and will happen next regarding the coronavirus and our behavior. I feel like I’m holding my breath. There is nothing to do but wait.
I vacillate between forgetting, enjoying the space that has opened up and feeling sad. There are so many people out of work, ill and dying. A somber time to think of celebrating.
I struggle between striving for productivity (what an opportunity) and just letting myself be. Letting myself watch the birds in the spaces between my obligations. Doing puzzles. Watching TV.
Things get done in spurts. Work gets done. Meetings happen. But then, suddenly, I feel like I’m walking through wet cement. I’m stuck.
Going on a drive yesterday, by myself, was cathartic. I felt almost normal. But it’s not normal at all.
I am unsettled by the incessant pull between safety and the economy, between Democrats and Republicans, between the most pessimistic scientific model of the path of this pandemic and the most optimistic model, between life and death.
The uncertainty around who is in charge, what decisions will be made, who will get very sick and potentially die, who will catch the virus without a sniffle and who will dodge it altogether, is unnerving.
We have braced for the worst. It is bad enough. We watch the doctors and nurses on the news begging everyone to stay home while some politicians talk about getting back to “normal” soon. Many of us are limiting our news intake because it intensifies the reality that things feel out of control.
Exhausted nurse between helping coronavirus patients in NYC
What is true? And what will the consequences be?
And, yes, many of us, me included, have so much to be grateful for—having a job, a home, a loving family and our health to name a few. So many others are suffering, and I wish I could help more.
Meanwhile, I wear plastic gloves and a mask to the grocery store and the gas station. We walk up and down our street for exercise and do yoga videos in our living room. For how long? What’s next? What will the new “normal” look like when it arrives?
When so much is stripped away, the travel, the distractions, the “important” things we were up to, it becomes clear what is essential: our health, our family and friends and nature. Good will surely come from this suffering.
I was raised Catholic, but I am not a religious person. I do believe there is a higher energy out there and within us all, whether we call that energy God, Spirit or something else doesn’t really matter. I am certainly turning towards that divine energy to help provide a sense of hope and peace.
May you be safe, free from sorrow, and find solace in your beliefs,
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
