I created Living ROI as a passion, to share my experiences and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives.
Having good interpersonal skills has never been more important for those of us staying home in continuous proximity with family, friends or roommates.
The divorce rate has spiked in China since the quarantine was lifted there and the government offices re-opened. Living in close quarters can create and exacerbate conflict. It can also be an opportunity to grow closer.
How can we keep the energetic space between us clean during this time? I talked about the concept of Honoring the Space Between in a blog two years ago, but today, I will share some specific strategies about how to do it.
In short, you need to recognize and clear conflict as it arises.
- Pay attention to how you feel so you can catch conflict early
- Identify a good time to talk about it with your quarantine mate(s)
- Focus on the present situation and avoid talking about the past
When you talk:
- Describe the specifics of what happened (without blame)
- Describe the impact
- Make a request
- All people involved need to practice reflective listening. Repeat what you’ve heard before you respond.
This level of reflective listening may seem strange but try it. If feels great to have someone really hear you. Often, it turns out that we don’t hear the whole story the first time it is told.
My family and I have been practicing this technique. We read through the scenarios and then we’ve practiced with actual tense situations. It’s not easy, but it makes a huge difference to really clear the air and understand the stories we make up in our minds about each other. In truth, if we don’t talk about it, we can often assume things that are much worse than reality.
Another practice that my daughter, Marina, has us doing is to first have dinner together. Then, at dinner, we each take turns sharing a sweet moment from the day and then we share something nice about an interaction we had with each person. It really makes the space between shine!
I am over the moon that I now have both of my daughters under our roof, along with Max, Emerald’s boyfriend. To come together as a family with adult children for this length of time is a miraculous silver lining.
Many people are sequestering with a roommate that they may not know that well. The Atlantic’s recent article, “Trapped at Home With People You Met on Craigslist,” offers some practical advice.
I hope this approach to keeping the space between clean and these resources are helpful as we all hunker down and do our part to limit the impact of COVID-19.
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
P.S. It’s helpful to talk as a quarantine group about how you will stay safe when you go outside to buy food or exercise. If anyone isn’t practicing safe distancing and using protective gear it can compromise everyone in the house and defeat the purpose.
