I created Living ROI as a passion, to share my experiences and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives.
The only thing that separates us from another person is judgment. I was reminded of this recently by a wise priestess.
When I am not feeling settled about another person in my life, and feel disconnected, I can find the cause of it in the judgments I am holding about that person. When I let those go, the wall comes down and I can appreciate the person for who they are, knowing we are all where we are meant to be right now.
The holidays are a great time to remember this. If we can let go of the past, let go of hurts and disappointments, we can look with fresh eyes on our family and friends who have grown and evolved as we have.
All five of my siblings and I gathered this weekend in the mountains. We had a lovely thanksgiving meal together on Saturday night. I am so proud of us that we were able to be present and loving with each other, despite experiences and judgments that have clouded our connections in the past.
Our parents have been gone for more than ten years, and here we are, together. My mother would be so happy! This was her wish and hope for us.
And each one of us has a deep connection with nature, the mountains in particular. We played the appreciation game and got to tell each other the gifts we see and receive from one another. I cried more than once during it.
I’m the baby of the family, and despite being 55 years old, I’ll always be the little one to my big brothers and sisters.
This poem by John O’Donohue sums up elements of the often complex but so important connection that siblings can have:
For a Brother or a Sister
The knowing that binds us
Is older than the apostrophe of cell
We formed from within the one womb.
All that flowed into us there
From the red village of ancestry
Sowed spores of continuity
That would one day flower
Into flickers of resemblance:
An unconscious gesture
Could echo an ancestor,
And the look of us stir
Recognition of belonging
That is ours alone;
And our difference finding
Its own rhythm of strangeness,
Leading us deeper into a self
That would always know its own
Regardless of difficulty and distance;
And through hurt no other could inflict;
Still somehow beside each other
Though the night is dark
With wind that loves
To clean the bones of ruins,
Making further room for light.
Thank you, dear sisters and brothers, for showing up, for forgiving, for loving.
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
P.S. My biggest thanksgiving this year is the news I got last week that I truly am as healthy as I feel! Fears and worry are set aside!
