Dear Friends,
When I applied to Humboldt State University in 1982, I didn’t get in. Since the acceptance rate was probably upward of 80% (compared to between 5% and 12% for the most competitive schools today), not getting in was quite a feat. So, most people who applied to Humboldt in 1982 got in, except for me.
Why am I sharing this? Maybe, first, because I don’t want to. The things we want to hide are often the most valuable lessons. And second, because everything that surrounded that rejection is part of my life journey and can hopefully be of value to a few others.
I really wanted to attend Humboldt so I petitioned the dean, and even flew up in May of 1982 to meet him in person and ask to be admitted. He still said, “We will see.” Recently, while going through old files, I found a letter from my high school principal writing to the dean of Humboldt State on my behalf. “Barbara’s GPA in high school does not reflect her capabilities and potential. Any school will be lucky to have her.” Something like that.
In June I finally got my letter of acceptance and ended up have a wonderful college experience at Humboldt. I was even interviewed for their recruiting video the year I graduated.
Most people don’t know that I didn’t get into Humboldt initially. In fact, I have spent a lot of my life trying to look impressive, and I’ve done a pretty good job of it. It’s easier to highlight the wins than the perceived losses, but it is in the losses that we grow and become who we are.
I had a wild time in high school—partying and “having fun.” Despite being a relatively strong student and a top athlete, I managed to get myself into all kinds of trouble. I didn’t just hang out with the wrong crowd, I was the wrong crowd. If there was risk or danger, I was there.
If it weren’t for my parents telling me that I was a good person, and seeing only the best in me, I suspect I would not be where I am today.
Last year, I was nominated to be recognized as a distinguished alumna at Humboldt by the former head of the journalism department, Mark Larson. I was honored that Mark thought to nominate me! Ultimately, I was not chosen by the nominating committee. It was a reminder of humility from the Universe, which I appreciate these days.
I would not take back a single “set-back” in my life. I now know, with confidence and certainty, that everything, (and I mean everything), happens for a reason. I can trust that when one door closes it is because an even better door will be opening, and if I had gone through the first, the second would not be an option.
Are you able to look back at a past set-back and see now that it ended up being for the best? How did it make you stronger? What did you learn?
What I know now:
- It doesn’t matter where you come from, or where you’ve been, you can be whatever you make your mind up to be.
- The attributes that may get you in trouble, are probably your greatest strengths.
- An Ivy League degree is wonderful, but it’s not essential for success.
- When someone believes in you, and supports you, it makes all the difference in the world. We now get to share that gift of belief and support with others.
Signed, a forever student of life,
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
I created Living ROI as a passion, to share what I’ve learned and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives. Please visit our website.
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