We have access to a lot of information about ourselves if we want it. I did 23andMe several years ago. Unsurprisingly, I am 97% Irish/Scottish. I hadn’t realized the depth of my Scottish connection until I uncovered some family research a few years ago. I was excited to find out my great great grandfather was a cousin of the Scottish poet Robert Burns; my genetic claim to fame.
But what does it matter? It can be interesting and create a sense of belonging for some. For others, it can be an impediment. Some of us, who may be excited or interested in where we came from might think that everyone would feel that way, but it’s not true.
Many people are discriminated against because of their ancestry and they might not want to talk about it with a stranger. When we hear someone with an accent, we may want to ask them, “Where are you from?” I have learned that is not appropriate. Our curiosity can create a sense of otherness or separation.
I do wish I knew this earlier in my life. I can’t count how many times I’ve asked a person with an accent where they are from. Sometimes a person might have seemed uncomfortable with the question, but I thought it was on them. Wrong.
When we live by The Golden Rule, “Treat people as you want to be treated,” some inappropriate behavior can seem fine. “I would like someone to ask me where I’m from and what I do, so why can’t I ask someone else that?”
But The Platinum Rule is far superior: “Treat people as they want to be treated.”
When in doubt, don’t ask, just let the conversation unfold as it will. This is a lesson I’m reminding myself! As a former journalist, I LOVE to ask questions.
But back to the salient question: Why does it matter? This gorgeous poem shines a light on what truly matters:
May we all have an expansive week!
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
