I created Living ROI as a passion, to share my experiences and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives.
Dear Friends,
Last Monday, as I was driving out of the mountains, a Highway Patrol officer pulled me over. I knew I wasn’t driving super-fast, but clearly, I was driving over the speed limit. As the lights flashed in my rear-view mirror, I thought about how long it had been since I was in this situation.
I didn’t get a ticket. Why? I’m a “clean-cut” looking middle-aged white woman driving a new Honda CR-V with current registration, license and no record. Not a perceived threat. He smiled, gave me a warning and sent me on my way.
Two thoughts came to mind: one around gratitude, coupled with sadness, and another about how I want to live my life.
First, gratitude and sadness. How lucky am I that I have a car and can afford to drive it (gas, insurance, registration, maintenance)? Lucky that I’m not profiled and don’t have to worry about being pulled over, and in real danger, because of my age, sex, socio-economic status or color of my skin. And sadness because so many people do have to worry about those things.
It’s easy to go through life taking for granted the advantages I was born with. I met a young man who had recently graduated from an Ivy League school and was looking for a job. His parents came from another country, did not graduate from high school and both did manual labor for a living. He was the first in his family to go to college.
As I spoke with him it became clear that there were some basics that he didn’t have experience with, for instance, how to network and what tools to use to find a job. In many other ways too, I could see his disadvantage around getting a professional job because he hadn’t been exposed to people who lived in the white-collar world. He didn’t have an example of what the day-to-day of professional work looked like from the home front. He did get a job, and is doing well, but it took more time, energy and stress.
Though I grew up middle class (far from affluent), my parents had some college experience and my father was a professional engineer. Through just being around that environment I was able to learn what it meant to go into an office every day. And now my children have an even greater advantage. With two educated, entrepreneurial parents who have traveled extensively, they have been exposed to, and educated about, more than most. (No pressure Emerald and Marina! ;))
The second thought I had was a reminder. I vowed about ten years ago that I didn’t want to be a person who speeds through life. I want to savor it. When I made that vow, I was absolutely a speeder in every sense of the word. I drove too fast; I tried to fit too much into each day; I raced between meetings and events, and I didn’t have free time to be spontaneous or just catch my breath. That was not how I wanted to live.
Getting pulled over last week was a reminder on a few levels. I no longer speed through my life, despite the driving lapse last week. I am also reminded of the advantages I live with and the inequities of life that should not be ignored.
What advantages do you have in life that you can be thankful for?
Are you driving at a desirable speed through your life?
With Gratitude!
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
