I created Living ROI as a passion, to share my experiences and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives.
Dear Friends,
One wisdom that comes from people on their deathbed is they universally wish they had spent more time with friends. They regretted losing touch with dear friends.
#4 I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
Excerpt from “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware
Summary article, The 5 Things People Regret Most on Their Deathbed
This weekend I am with dear friends: my sister Moira and my brother-in-law Greg, Leslye, a friend from college, and her husband, Griff.
Leslye and I have been friends since our college boyfriends (who did NOT become our husbands) introduced us. We have lived within an hour of each other in the Bay Area for the last 25 years. Amazingly, we each had two daughters born close in age, so we have had the pleasure of going through many phases of our lives together with our entire families.
It’s an effort to find time to be with friends, especially when you’re raising a family and working. I am grateful to Leslye and Griff for always making the effort. So many years and life phases lie ahead for us to share together, e.g., grandchildren, travel and the adventures of aging.
Colin, Barbara, Leslye and Griff
Our friendship is a joy in good times and a tremendous comfort and boost during challenging times.
This evening I will be with some new friends too who are bringing more richness into my life.
The Science of Friends
In 2008, one of many studies* on this topic was conducted to measure the rewards of friendship. Participants stood in front of a hill, either alone or alongside a friend. They were then asked to estimate how steep the hill seemed. Across the board, the participants who stood with a friend at their side, reported that the hill seemed less steep than the participants who stood alone. What a great metaphor!
Early this morning I was on the phone with my daughter, Marina, who is currently living in Spain. I listened while she processed some experiences and feelings. A few hours later she texted me the poem below which speaks to friendship between women and much more.
Why Women Need Women
Woman,
I am here for you when they’ve taken your power, when they’ve told you over and over again that you can’t.
Powerful woman,
I know why you cry and I know why you sing. They have taught us to compare ourselves to one another.
Lovely, soft woman,
I can feel your pain. It feels like mine. Look at this scar here on my arm, it took me 80 days and 80 nights and 3 trips to the moon to come back from the guilt and self-doubt of that scar.
Healing woman,
You are not here for the use of others; you will find what it is that makes the sunrise in your eyes. Even far in the north the sun rises every day.
–Marina Smith
Friends help us find hope when trouble is brewing. They celebrate our joy. They are there even through times of absence and moments of discord.
One of the wonderful benefits of doing this newsletter is staying in connection with old friends and building new ones!
What friend do you want to stay connected with?
In friendship,
Barbara Fagan-Smith
CEO, ROI Communication
Chief Catalyst, Living ROI
*Schnall, S., Harber, K. D., Stefanucci, J. K., & Proffitt, D. R. (2008). Social support and the perception of geographical slant. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44, 1246-1255.
