I created Living ROI as a passion, to share my experiences and support others who want to live more authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives.

Dear Friends,

If this hasn’t happened to you personally, I’m sure you know family and friends who have experienced it. You go in for a regular checkup—for instance a mammogram—and you don’t think twice about it until the phone rings, and you’re told they’ve found something “suspicious” and you need to go back for more testing.

This happened to me a couple months ago, and I just got the word on Friday that I am clear. I feel like I lost a month of time during the whole episode. I sensed, believed, I was okay. My intuition seemed to be right on when I went back for the second test and they couldn’t confirm what they found in the first test. But, there is a burden on the medical system that makes it risk-averse. They still recommended I get a biopsy.

This excerpt from a medical website sums up the turmoil that this process creates:

“Thanks to routine mammography with or without ultrasound, many women who present for regular screening will eventually be referred for breast biopsy. Although the majority of these biopsies result in benign findings, the stress associated with both the procedure and their results is significant. In some cases, the reporting of results can be delayed by as much as a week, exacerbating the patient’s anxiety.”

Eighty percent of women who get a breast biopsy do not have breast cancer. I have mixed feelings about that statistic. It seems too high, and it makes me wonder if we are over-testing. But for those 20% it is critical to get the confirmation as early as possible.

I wanted a second opinion, so I was referred to the Stanford Women’s Breast Cancer Program. They ultimately told me I needed to have a biopsy. After an MRI and two ultrasounds I ended up having an MRI-guided biopsy. Why? Because it was so hard to find! I now have a titanium chip as a marker in that location. So I didn’t come out of it empty handed!

This is not a topic that people are comfortable talking about. First, there is still a lot of fear around the words “breast cancer,” despite the fact that a small percentage of women with breast cancer die from it today. And second, we’re talking about a body part that our society considers sexual and private.

However, I wish more people would talk about it, because it’s nearly a universal experience that women have, and the men in their lives are part of the turmoil it causes. So, assuming I am not alone, I am talking about it.

Without going into detail, the experience I had during the process, both physically and emotionally, was less than ideal. At times, distressing. When the first radiologist told me I needed a biopsy, I said, “Fine, I’m going on vacation for two weeks and will do it after I get back.” He said, “Well, you know, we’re talking about cancer,” almost whispering it. I said, “Yes, I know that, and I don’t think a few weeks will make a difference.” He said, “Most people don’t like to wait, but if you can handle it, fine.”

Instead, I wish he had let me know then that only 20% of biopsies come back as cancer and what they found was small and it would be fine to wait.

No one throughout the process told me that the odds were well in my favor. Instead, I was treated as if I already had cancer. And during the multiple, and expensive (despite having insurance), tests, I felt like my body part in question was treated as if it was not attached to me. There was an indignity in the experience, and when I got emotional, I judged myself as weak.

Here is what I want to tell every woman who is called back after a routine mammogram, MRI or ultrasound:

• The odds are in your favor! Most likely it is nothing, but it’s important to find out.
• If you get emotional during the testing phase, or any phase, it’s normal and you’re okay.
• Make sure someone who is supportive goes with you for the tests and procedures.
• Take really good care of yourself after any test or procedure. Rest. Don’t push it.
• If you are willing, tell other women about your experience so they are more prepared.

There is an opportunity to improve the experience on the medical side—from communication and environment to process and holistic support. I believe the more we share, the better it will get.

With care,

• Facebook
• Twitter
• LinkedIn

P.S. Many people replied to me after last week’s newsletter with their habits and tools that help them stay their best in the face of life’s challenges. I will share those in a future newsletter! If you have any tips and practices you’d like to pass on, please reply to this email and I’ll include them.